break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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