I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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