sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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