well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
soo... how was my night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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