Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We left the knife in your bed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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