my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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