i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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