would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
