Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
