You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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