Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
