i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
