Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
