She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
