TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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