I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
