Pants 0. Shit 1.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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