Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
