i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
