Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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