And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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