How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
