What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
