# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what day is it and did you see me today?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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