A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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