need another drink. this is the easiest way
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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