bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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