His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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