dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
