why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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