apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
