Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't notice because vodka
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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