we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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