I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
