Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
