i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
