Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
