Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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