I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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