White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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