i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
not ubering you a puppy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
