do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
