Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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