Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
