The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
