Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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