2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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