wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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