This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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