Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
